


One Long Night

by unsungpoet



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, References to Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:40:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21666061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unsungpoet/pseuds/unsungpoet
Summary: What hurts more than letting go is never giving yourself a chance to hold on.
Relationships: Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Yoobin | Dami
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16
Collections: 2yoo Fic Fest 2019, Dreamcatcher Oneshots and Drabbles





	One Long Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ephemeraldt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeraldt/gifts).



> prompt - one long night

Yoohyeon stared up at the ceiling, clutching her covers against her chest. She tried to will her heart to slow, but it carried on its panicked rhythm and made it impossible for her to sleep. She let out a frustrated sigh as she sat up, running a hand through her hair in exasperation.

“Come on, Yoohyeon. Calm down, there’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s all in your head,” she whispered to herself. This was the third sleepless night in as many days and it was driving her crazy. She’d hardly been living in this new house a month and already she had encountered a problem. And what a silly problem it was...

Yoohyeon threw herself back onto the mattress with a groan. She kicked her covers off and placed her arm over her eyes, hoping somehow this would block everything out enough for her to sleep. But the silence made the blood roaring in her ears excessively loud and the stillness made her hyper aware of her pulse all the way down to the tips of her fingers. Her mind ran rampant behind her closed eyelids and she could’ve sworn something moved beside her, startling her back into a sitting position. Of course, there was nothing there besides an empty room and her own shaky breaths.

“I’m losing it,” Yoohyeon muttered to no one. She was being ridiculous. What was she so afraid of anyway?

 _The ghost_ , her mind immediately piped up, rather unhelpfully. Yoohyeon let a breath hiss out between her teeth, trying to ignore the way her heart had stuttered at the thought.

“There’s no such thing as ghosts,” she told herself with a shake of her head. She brought her hands up to her face and began to massage her temples, a tired sigh leaving her lips. What would it take for her vivid imagination to calm down enough for her to rest? She didn’t know at this point. Just then she had an idea, but it was so ridiculous that she scoffed at herself.

What if she proved to herself that there was no ghost? Either way, she wasn’t likely to get much sleep, if any. Might as well stay up and be on the lookout for supernatural activity. Once she assured herself that there was nothing in the house but her, maybe she’d finally be able to get a decent night’s rest.

 _But what if you do see something?_ her mind chimed in once again. She shook the thought out of her head. That would never happen anyway…

***

Yoohyeon wasn’t sure when boredom had lulled her to sleep, but she suddenly found herself jolting awake. Her heart was racing, the sound of something crashing to the floor ringing in her ears. Her head whipped back and forth frantically in search of the source of the loud sound, but nothing was amiss in her room and the house was now silent.

 _Maybe the noise was outside_ , Yoohyeon thought. But no, she was sure there had been a loud thud inside her house. She let out a soft whine, realizing she had no choice but to get out of bed and investigate, which she really didn’t want to do. She _had_ to check, though, she knew. Besides, she was now wide awake at half past two in the morning and she was certain she wouldn’t be able to sleep any time soon. Might as well do something other than lay in bed and drive herself crazy.

Slowly, reluctantly, Yoohyeon rolled out of bed. She nervously tugged on the sleeves of her hoodie as she padded to her bedroom door. It took her a deep inhale and a mental pep talk before she was able to cautiously open the door. She peeked out, relieved to find an empty hallway without anything out of the ordinary. The relief only lasted as long as it took for Yoohyeon to remember that she was supposed to be looking for what had caused the ruckus that woke her, which meant that she would have to leave the safety of her room to look around.

It took a while of slowly treading down the hall and peeking through doors like a coward before Yoohyeon successfully checked every room on the upper level of the house. _One floor down, one to go_ , she told herself as a form of encouragement. The fact that she hadn’t found anything yet made her feel less skittish, but descending to the dimly lit first floor was making the anxiety rise up again. This was further amplified when she finally encountered something out of place. The bookshelf in her living room was partially empty, several of her books scattered on the floor.

 _That must’ve been the noise that woke me_ , she realized as she bent down to start picking up the fallen books. Although the mystery of the origin of the noise had been solved, it still didn’t explain why the books had fallen. Yoohyeon looked around the room to make sure that nothing else had been moved. Everything looked to be in order, only the books had been disturbed.

“That’s weird,” Yoohyeon muttered.

“I’m sorry.” The soft voice triggered a comedically aggressive response from Yoohyeon, causing her to snap upright and spin around in one motion, the book she had been holding poised above her head and ready to be swung. She had expected to be met with an aggressor and had been prepared to meet the attack head on. What she didn’t expect was to meet a pair of wide, startled eyes set in a painfully familiar face. The girl, who was standing on the other side of the couch, had her hands up as if to show she wasn’t a threat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Y-Yubin?” Yoohyeon’s voice came out shaky, her arms dropping to her sides as the strength drained from her body. “What are you… What are you doing here?”

“Well I… I was looking for you,” Yubin answered quietly, pushing her short hair away from her face. She offered Yoohyeon a sad smile that the girl couldn’t quite understand. “I guess I found you a little bit too late.”

“Late for what? Why… Why were you looking for me?”

“Maybe you should sit, Yoohyeon,” Yubin said as she motioned towards the couch in front of her. Yoohyeon felt like there was a deeper complexity in the simple statement that made her unable to process what Yubin meant. She stared at the girl without moving, eyes roaming over the features that once had been familiar. Yubin looked as beautiful as ever, if only a little more mature, but that was to be expected with the years that had passed. Yet something about her felt so different to Yoohyeon, almost surreal. And as moonlight slanted through the window and hit Yubin, Yoohyeon realized what it was.

The light passed through Yubin completely, as if she wasn’t even there. Where a moment ago she had looked fine, she now looked desaturated. Not just pale. It was as if the entirety of her did not hold color well. What was more, Yubin seemed paper thin, see through, almost…

 _Ghostly_. Yoohyeon gasped as the thought crossed her mind. Suddenly, Yubin’s earlier comment about being too late, paired with the solemnity of Yubin’s expression, held completely new meaning. Yoohyeon stumbled back a step, leaning back against the bookshelf to support herself. Tears sprang to her eyes, a lump forming in her throat, and Yubin’s worried glance did nothing to calm her down.

“Please,” Yoohyeon croaked out, forcing the word through unresponsive lips. “Please tell me that you’re not real and that I’m just having a really bad dream.”

“Yoohyeon…” Yubin sounded apologetic, solidifying Yoohyeon’s fears. Yoohyeon’s eyes fluttered closed and she tried to steady her breaths enough to speak again.

“How long…?” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the question, couldn’t will herself to say the words. She heard Yubin take in a slow breath and steeled herself to hear the response she knew she didn’t want.

“I died last month.”

***

“Do you remember when we met, the first time we actually spoke?” Yubin asked, breaking the silence that had engulfed them since her revelation. Yoohyeon was now seated on the couch with her legs tucked beneath her, a throw pillow hugged to her chest. Yubin was seated at the other end of the couch, eyes never leaving the other girl. Yoohyeon looked up at the sound of Yubin’s voice and nodded slowly.

“Freshman year of high school, in the locker room,” Yoohyeon answered quietly. It wasn’t a day she could easily forget.

***

_Yoohyeon bolted down the hall, hoping that no teacher decided to scold her for running in the hallway. She was already late enough as it was. Thankfully, she reached the gym without being stopped and crept towards the locker room without her classmates or her teacher noticing. Yoohyeon heaved a sigh when she slipped safely into the locker room and leaned against the door to catch her breath. It wasn’t until she stood to finally get changed that she realized that she wasn’t alone in the locker room. Wide, startled eyes stared at her, framed by long, brown locks. The girl was shirtless, her gym uniform shirt clutched against her chest in a death grip, her knuckles white and her face void of color. Yoohyeon could just barely see the ridge of marbled skin in the middle of the girl’s chest, peeking out from behind the shirt the girl was trying desperately to cover herself with._

_“Sorry!” Yoohyeon apologized, unnecessarily loudly. She spun herself around to face the wall as she spoke, her voice bouncing off the tiles. “I didn’t think anyone would be in here now. At least I won’t be the only one who’s late.” Yoohyeon smiled despite the fact that the girl couldn’t see her face at the moment. When there was no immediate reply, Yoohyeon continued her bubbly chatter. “Let me know when you’re done changing. I’ll face the wall until you’re done so you don’t feel uncomfortable. Sorry again for barging in on you like that, you must’ve been waiting forever to be alone to change comfortably. I’m not usually this late, I just got caught up—”_

_“You can turn around now,” the girl cut in softly. Yoohyeon did as she was told, smiling brightly at the girl who was now donned in her gym uniform._

_“You know, a lot of girls say the gym uniform isn’t very flattering but it suits you well, you look cute.” Yoohyeon dished out the compliment so casually but so genuinely that it visibly caught the girl off guard. Again, Yoohyeon gave her a smile. Then she started changing into her own gym uniform, continuing to speak while pulling her shirt over her head, providing a sharp contrast to the other girl’s shyness. “I’m Yoohyeon by the way. Kim Yoohyeon. Your name is… Yubin, right? Or am I confusing you with one of our classmates?”_

_“No, you’re right,” Yubin answered slowly. She watched Yoohyeon get dressed without saying anything else, letting Yoohyeon babble about this and that. And then suddenly she spoke up. “Aren’t you going to ask?”_

_“Ask what?” Yoohyeon raised an eyebrow at Yubin as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail._

_“About my scars. I know you saw them.”_

_“Everyone has scars.” As emphasis, Yoohyeon pulled her pants off and pointed to a long, thin strip of marbled skin on the outside of her right thigh. “I’m clumsy so I have a lot of scars, but this one is the biggest. I got hurt playing with my cousins this one time because we were—”_

_“My scars aren’t like that, Yoohyeon,” Yubin interrupted. “I didn’t get hurt. I’m sick. There’s something wrong with my heart.”_

_“Really?” Yoohyeon stepped forward and placed her palm on the left side of Yubin’s chest without warning. Yubin stared up at her in shock but Yoohyeon didn’t look at her, staring at her own hand in concentration as she felt the frantic beating of Yubin’s heart. After a moment, Yoohyeon stepped back with a wide grin on her face. “Your heart feels fine to me. At least it’s beating, right?” Yoohyeon shrugged, pulling her sweatpants on._

_“You aren’t like others, are you, Kim Yoohyeon?” Yubin mumbled. For the hundredth time in the past five minutes, Yoohyeon gave Yubin a bright smile._

_“Neither are you. But being different is more fun anyway.”_

_“I don’t know about that. People always give me weird looks because they know I'm different."_

_"Maybe they're just looking at you because you're pretty." Yoohyeon playfully poked Yubin's cheek. Then she nodded towards the door, a dorky lopsided grin on her face. "Let's go, pretty lady. We're super late."_

_"Hey, Yoohyeon!" Yubin called. Yoohyeon paused halfway to the door and looked back questioningly. "Thank you."_

_There was that signature smile of Yoohyeon's again. "Any time, Yubin. Any time."_

***

“I didn’t know it was possible to fall for someone so quickly until that day,” Yubin confessed, a nostalgic expression on her face. Yoohyeon’s eyes flew wide and it took her several moments of opening and closing her mouth like a beached fish before any sound came out.

“Are… Are you serious?” Yoohyeon demanded, mouth agape. Yubin nodded, her smile becoming shy.

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“A little. You never really seemed interested in anyone.” A pause. A deep breath. “You never responded to my advances either.” Yoohyeon’s honest revelation of her own feelings caused Yubin’s expression to darken slightly, her eyebrows furrowing as she pulled her knees against her chest.

“I didn’t want to burden you.” Yubin’s voice had become so small that Yoohyeon almost didn’t hear her. She tilted her head in confusion, unsure what the younger girl meant.

“How would returning my interest be a burden to me?”

“Yoohyeon, what did you feel when you realized I was dead?” Yubin turned her head to look at Yoohyeon. The older girl didn’t even have to respond, it was written all over her face. Yubin’s gaze was piercing as she continued. “Imagine spending every day with that fear hanging over your head, the uncertainty of whether or not I’d live another day.”

“Yubin…”

“That was the reality of my life, Yoohyeon.” She paused, glancing away before regaining her voice. “I never really told you about it but there were multiple things wrong with my heart when I was born. Usually, people with the same condition as me can live pretty normal lives, besides having regular checkups and limiting strenuous exercise, if they’re diagnosed and get surgery early on. At first, my future looked just as optimistic. But I had to get a second surgery when I was nine and I realized that maybe I was beyond repair.

“And as I got older I understood more and more that just because I was healthier, just because I took care of myself, it didn’t necessarily guarantee that my heart would function well enough to keep me alive. Life is fragile, and mine even more so. I watched that reality take a toll on my parents, my sister, even my extended family.” Yubin looked up, a deep sadness swimming in her eyes as they met Yoohyeon’s. “I couldn’t let you bear that weight too.”

“Thank you for looking out for me. But I hope you know that I was aware even then that being with you wouldn’t be an easy thing. Yet I couldn’t help what I felt for you… What I _feel_ for you.” Yoohyeon’s voice cracked and she noticed that there were tears rolling down her cheeks. Yubin’s hand came up, only to be withdrawn at the realization that her touch would not be felt. There was pain in Yubin’s expression as she watched Yoohyeon wipe at her damp cheeks.

“I’m sorry. I realized too late that I wanted to share whatever time I had left with you. I didn’t even know how to find you, I hadn’t kept in touch with anyone from high school.” Yubin took a shaky breath before continuing. “I did what I could to try and find you for six months or so. But then I ended up in the hospital again and we were scheduling another surgery and… and then…”

“Is that how you—?” A sudden halt. A loud gulp. An unsteady exhale. Yoohyeon closed her eyes, rephrasing her question so that she could force herself to say it. “Is that what happened to you?”

“Sort of.” The humorless chuckle that accompanied the statement felt out of place in the tense atmosphere. Yubin ran her hand through her hair, letting a huff of air out through her nose. She didn’t meet Yoohyeon’s eyes as she spoke. “Interestingly enough, the surgery went really well. They had replaced one of my heart valves which hadn’t been functioning correctly. The doctor said I’d feel a lot better after my recovery. But there was a complication the day after the surgery.

“It was a pulmonary embolism, a blood clot in my lungs. My heart stopped instantly apparently, and they couldn’t get it to start again. I guess it was too weak from the surgery. I don’t remember that moment at all though. All I know is that I was texting my sister one moment and the next thing I know I’m looking at myself laying in the hospital bed as the doctor announced the time of death.”

“I’m sorry, Yubin.” It was all Yoohyeon could think to say, her voice small and unsure.

“Don’t be.” Yubin gave her a tight smile and quickly moved the conversation along. “I’m just glad I found you, despite the awful timing. And in my own home no less. What a twist of fate, huh?”

“Y-Your home?” Yoohyeon stammered out. Yubin raised an eyebrow.

“You didn’t know?” she asked. Yoohyeon shook her head. “Why did you think it went on sale so suddenly at such a low price?” Yubin continued, ignoring the spooked look on Yoohyeon’s face. “I asked my mom to move back to Seongnam, to live with my grandparents, if I died. I didn’t want her to be alone with Gahyeon in this big house, and I wanted to be buried there.”

“But you came back,” Yoohyeon finally managed to say around the lump in her throat.

“Something was pulling me back. I guess now I know what that something was.” The look Yubin gave Yoohyeon then was indescribable, years of unspoken emotions shining in her eyes like shards of glass catching the light.

“Why didn’t you show yourself sooner?” Yoohyeon asked, suddenly remembering that she had felt another presence in the house for days now. Once again, Yubin’s expression saddened.

“I didn’t want to have to say goodbye,” was her response. And that was when it hit Yoohyeon. Yubin was only a ghost because something was holding her back—Yoohyeon. This time, Yubin did allow herself to reach out and she brushed her hand against Yoohyeon’s cheek. It was nothing more than a faint touch to Yoohyeon, like a feather’s caress, but it was enough for her eyes to flutter shut in response. “I wish I could stay with you.”

“But you can’t.” Yoohyeon opened her eyes to look at Yubin, a stern expression on her face. “Better things are awaiting you.” After a beat of silence, Yoohyeon spoke again. “Will you look after me?”

“Of course. Always.” It was the closest thing to a promise of forever that they could give each other. Yubin stood, slowly, and a feeling of finality permeated the air around them.

“Goodbye, Yubin.”

“Goodbye, Yoohyeon. Live well. Oh, and do me a favor?”

“Sure, anything.”

“Look after Gahyeon for me please. I know she’s an adult but she’s still my little sister.”

“I’ll look after her as if she were my own sister.” Yoohyeon’s voice was thick as she said it, the goodbye weighing on her heavily. But then Yubin smiled at her, perhaps the first genuine, bright smile Yoohyeon had really seen from her.

“Thank you, Yoohyeon.” And then she was gone, like a handful of sand being swept away by the wind. Yoohyeon wasn’t sure how long she sat there staring at the spot where Yubin had been, but she didn’t come to her senses until bleak morning sunlight began trickling in through the window.

 _Maybe I’ll finally be able to sleep_ , Yoohyeon thought tiredly as she stood from the couch. It had been a long night, perhaps the longest night of her life, and she was exhausted. Once in bed, it only took a matter of minutes before Yoohyeon was fast asleep. As she slept, she dreamt of a beautiful girl with wings and a heart made of gold, and the girl’s name was Yubin.

**Author's Note:**

> Tetralogy of Fallot, the illness Yubin references but does not name, is an actual congenital heart defect that I researched to write this piece. You can learn about it [here](https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/congenital-heart-defects/about-congenital-heart-defects/tetralogy-of-fallot) and, if interested, can donate to the American Heart Association [here](https://www2.heart.org/site/SPageNavigator/donatenow_heart.html?s_src=20U2W1UEMG&s_subsrc=top_nav_button).


End file.
